Sunday, May 25, 2014

What Floor?

As an ex-resident of a building that is notorious for its elevators, I happen to know a thing or two about the subject. I'm not sure what it is about being in a vertical moving box with a handful of strangers, but it's one of the most awkward things in the world. To make matters worse, now a days people whip out their cell phones in .07 seconds flat before even letting the awkward set in.

Now, this is not going to be me bashing on my generation. I'm simply trying to get to the bottom of all this. I've heard "Oh my God, I lost my phone; my life is over," many more times than I'd prefer. People, listen up: We're too attached to those little computers we stow away in our pockets. Are they super useful? Yes. Are they super fun? Duh. Are they really the thing we should let our lives depend upon? Umm no.

Technology rocks the terabytes off my hard drive but we've got to start using it in moderation. Next time you whip out your phone, figure out if you really need to. I've compiled a set of questions so you can easily figure out if you should be pulling out your phone.

Are you with friends or family you rarely get to see? Yes? Then put it away.
Are you eating with company? Yes? Then put it away.
Are you currently enjoying one of life's big moments (wedding, birth of screaming infant, etc)? Yes? Then put it away.
Are you ordering pizza? Yes? Cheese please, extra sauce, garlic bread on the side.

Let's backtrack. You know that song by Jason Reeves where he basically reassures you that one day you will find your true love? That one day you'll "take your eyes off the ground out of the blue," and you'll be all 'oh damn' because you'll "see that someone is looking right back at you,"? Yeah that's not going to happen unless we quit it with the whole cell phone craze. Homie's gotta update his lyrics from 'ground' to 'Retina Display touch screen.'

It makes my heart hurt that at times when people should be enjoying the company of their peers, something on the internet comes across as more important. This goes for me, too. I am guilty of occasionally going on my phone when I probably shouldn't be, (like I said, super fun'n'useful) but I'm trying to change that. Cellular devices revolutionized technology but now I think it's time to irrevolutionize it. Unrevulutionize? Derevolutionize? Whatever. It's time.